NEW JOKES AND FRESH SMS

(…) (…) (…) (…)

"If u want to change the world, do it when u r a bachelor.                                
After marriage u cant even change a TV channel"
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EK Pathan ek Baniye ki shaadi mein gaya.

shaadi waale ghar k 2 Darwazy the,
1 pe rishtedar dusre pe dost likha tha.

pathan, dosto wale darwaze se enter huwa.
Aagee phir 2 darwaze the,
1 pe ladies dosre pe gents likha tha.

Pathan, gents wale darwaze se enter hua.
wahan 2 or darwaze the,
1 pe gift dene wala doosre pe baghair gift wala likha tha.

pathan baghair gift waale darwazy mein enter ho gaya.

Jab dekha to pathan, bahar gali me khada tha!

Aurrr likha tha:
sharm to nhi aa rahi hogi,
Baniye ki shaadi aur free mein roti khayega ?

JA JA hawa khhaa..:'
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"Guzri hui jindgi ko
kabhi yaad na kar,
Taqdir me jo likha hai
uski fariyad na kar...

Jo hoga wo hokar rahega,
Tu kalki fikar me
apni aaj ki hasi
barbad na kar...

Hans marte hue bhi gata hai
aur Mor nachte hue bhi rota hai...

Ye jindagi ka funda hai boss
Dukho wali raat

neend nahi aati

Aur
Khushi wali raat
kaun sota hai!

100% true. . 
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Today is 'WIFE'S' DAY!
Always Love the 'Wife'.
No Life without Wife.
Remain Loyal & Faithful to Wife.
Keep Wife Happy & Satisfied....
Never mind "Whose Wife"

HAPPY 'WIFE' DAY!

Poori Ramayan Biwiyon ki Kahani hai!

LAXMAN apni biwi ko ghar pe chhodkar chala gaya...

RAAVAN doosre ki utha ke phas gaya...

Sugreev ne RAM ka saath is liye diya kyunki usse apni biwi Bali se wapis chaahiye thi...

HANUMAN ki apni thi hi nahi magar doosre ki dhoondhne ke chakkar me LANKA jalaa daali...

RAM ko apni waapis chaahiye thi to usse 10 din tak yuddh karna pada, aur end me kya hua???

Jis Biwi ke kaaran Itni RAMAYAN hui Woh to underground ho gayi...

Abhi socho itna jhamela hua kyun???

Kyun ki DASHRATH ki 3 biwiyan thein!!

MORAL: Puraane zamaane se hi biwi ki magajmaari chali aa rahi hai. Jab Bhagwaan hi Biwi se nahi bach sake to AAP to aakhir insaan ho ....
Qudrat NeAurat ko 💫Haseen Banaya
:
Khoobsurti di
:
Chand sachehra diya
:
🐐Hirni siAnkhein
:
Morni jaisi🐾Chaal
:
Resham seBaal
:
Koel jaisiMethee awaz di
:
Phool simasoomiat di
:
Gulab seHont
:
🐝💧Shehad simitas di
:
💞Pyar BhraDil Diya
:
AUR
💬Phir
?
?
?
Phir kya hua jante ho ??
?
👅Ek  ZUBAN Di
AUR
SabSatyaNaash Ho gaya
:
🔃HarWaqt
Tr
Trr
Trrr ......😛😅

Send this to Every Husband who can Enjoy it and to Every Wife who can Tolerate it. 
😎

Jinki shadi nahi hui... JEELO!
Jinki shadi ho gayi... JHELO!
DEFINITION of "bachpan"::: ------------------Once choosing the colour of a sketch pen was a tough task.
🔴🔵🔶🔷🎨🎨🎨🎨🎨🎨

Occupying the window seat in the school bus was called obsession.🚌🚎🚌🚎🚌🚎🚌🚎🚌🚎

Getting a toffee as a birthday treat from a friend made our day.
🍬🍫🍭🍬🍫🍭🍬🍫🍭🍭

Being the first one to finish copying from the blackboard was the ultimate moment of pride.
📝📝📝📝📝📝📝📝📝📝

Hiding the answers
📄📃📑📝📋📋📋📋📋📋
from a bench partner during exams was not called selfishness.

When homework 📖📕📗📘📙📓📔📖📕📗
was the only torture & finished it soon,
so could get some extra time to play.🎮🏀🏈⚾⚽🎾🎱🏉🎯🎳

Early to bed
🙇🌙🙇🌙🙇🌙🌌🌙🌌🌙,
early to rise
🌞🌝🌝🌝🌙🌝
was life's mantra, but how we loved sleeping late and having some extra TV time!
💻📺🎮📻💻📺🎮📻💻📺

Owning a cycle was owning BMW
🚲🚵🚴🚲🚵🚴🚲🚵🚴🚲

To look good was only to wear our fav dress frocks for girls n half pants for boys.
👗👖👗👖👗👖👗👗👖👖

We didn't need FB or a phone to keep in touch!
👭👬👯👭👭👬👯👬👭👭

We thought all elders are ideal, when Daddy was the only hero
👴
and Mom was the only Best friend."👪

So what they say is right.
"Everybody dies twice. Once when their childhood ends."
🙇🙇👭👭👬👬��👭🙇🙇

Got this awesome msg that made my day
👌👌👌👌👌👌👌👌👌👌
Hope u all  like it too..:)
👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍 send ths to all your frndzz...... Nd make realise thm tht u haven't forgotten ur childhood. 😊👫👬👫👬👫


Ekdam Faadu
.
.
Ek Ladka Ek Ladki Ko Cafe Mein
Akele Baitha Dekh Kar Ladki Ki
Table
Par Gaya Aur Kaha:" Kya Main Aap
Ke Saath Baith Sakta Hu.???
.
.
Ladki Chillai:" Nahi, Main Aaj Raat
Tumhare Saath Nahi Guzaar Sakti....
.
.
Sab Log Dekhne Lage.............
.
.
.
Ladka Sharminda Ho Gaya..
.
.
Kuch Der Baad Ladki Uske Paas
Gayi Aur Maafi Mangi Aur
Kaha:" Main HUMAN NATURE Ke
Upar Study Kar Rahi Hu Aur Padh
Rahi Hu Ki Log
Sharminda Ho Kar Kya Mehsoos
Karte Hain.."
.
.
Ladka Chillaya:" What..??? 10
Hazaar Ek Raat Ke..??
Bahut Zyada Hain, Kuch Kam Karo
Yaar..
.
.
Sab Log Ladki Ko Dekh Kar Hasne
Lage..
.
.
Aur Phir Ladka Aahista Se Bola:" Ab
Mehsoos Kar. Khul Ke..
.
Jaldi forward karo..Ye market me naya hai..
Todays Joke..
.
Aishwarya's Daughter Araddhya Going To Play School..
Teacher- Who Is Your Grand Father??
Araddhya- Big B..
Teacher- Who Is Your Mother??
Araddhya- Miss World..
Teacher- Who Is Your Father..??
Araddhya- No Idea Sir Ji.
Har taraf khamoshi ka saya hai,
Zindagi me pyaar kisne paya hai,
Hum yaadon mein jhoomte hai uski aur zamana kehta hai,
Dekho aaj phir peekar aaya hai.

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Unhe ye shikaayat hai hamse
ki hum har kisi ko dekh kar mushkurate hain
nasamajh hain wo kya jaane
hame to har chehre me wahi nazar aate

hain
----------------------------------------------
Awesome msg:

Ek Sach Chupa Hota Hai :- Jab Koi Kisi Ko Kehta Hai Ki "Mazaak Tha Yaar".

Ek Feeling Chupi Hoti Hai :- Jab Koi Kehta Hai "Mujhe Koi Farq Nahi Padta".

Ek Dard Chupa Hota Hai :- Jab Koi Kehta Hai "Its Ok".

Ek Zarurat Chupi Hoti Hai :- Jab Koi Kehta Hai "Mujhe Akela Chhod Do".

Ek Gehri Baat Chupi Hoti Hai :- Jab Koi Kehta Hai "Pata Nahi".

Ek Samundar Chupa Hota Hai Baato Ka :- Jab Koi "Khamosh Rehta Hai".....

Isi liye ek Open Heart Surgery unit k baahar likha huwa tha k....

"Agar Dil Khol Lete Apne Yaaro Ke Saath,
To Aaj Kholna Na Padta Auozaro K Saath"
🔧🔩🔪

"Share Life With True Friends"
Chah kar bhi use apna na bana sake,
Ishq kar k bhi unhe ye jata na sake.
Dil tha hamara koi kagaz ka tukda nahi,
isliye cheer kar kabhi bhi dikha na sake
DEFINITION of "bachpan"::: ------------------Once choosing the colour of a sketch pen was a tough task.
🔴🔵🔶🔷🎨🎨🎨🎨🎨🎨

Occupying the window seat in the school bus was called obsession.🚌🚎🚌🚎🚌🚎🚌🚎🚌🚎

Getting a toffee as a birthday treat from a friend made our day.
🍬🍫🍭🍬🍫🍭🍬🍫🍭🍭

Being the first one to finish copying from the blackboard was the ultimate moment of pride.
📝📝📝📝📝📝📝📝📝📝

Hiding the answers
📄📃📑📝📋📋📋📋📋📋
from a bench partner during exams was not called selfishness.

When homework 📖📕📗📘📙📓📔📖📕📗
was the only torture & finished it soon,
so could get some extra time to play.🎮🏀🏈⚾⚽🎾🎱🏉🎯🎳

Early to bed
🙇🌙🙇🌙🙇🌙🌌🌙🌌🌙,
early to rise
🌞🌝🌝🌝🌙🌝
was life's mantra, but how we loved sleeping late and having some extra TV time!
💻📺🎮📻💻📺🎮📻💻📺

Owning a cycle was owning BMW
🚲🚵🚴🚲🚵🚴🚲🚵🚴🚲

To look good was only to wear our fav dress frocks for girls n half pants for boys.
👗👖👗👖👗👖👗👗👖👖

We didn't need FB or a phone to keep in touch!
👭👬👯👭👭👬👯👬👭👭

We thought all elders are ideal, when Daddy was the only hero
👴
and Mom was the only Best friend."👪

So what they say is right.
"Everybody dies twice. Once when their childhood ends."
🙇🙇👭👭👬👬👬👭🙇🙇

Got this awesome msg that made my day
👌👌👌👌👌👌👌👌👌👌
Hope u all  like it too..:)
👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍 send ths to all your frndzz...... Nd make realise thm tht u haven't forgotten ur childhood. 
------------------------------------------------------------------------


Father :- agar iss bar tum
exam mein fail hue to mujhe
papa mat kehna.
.
.
After exam........
.
Father : How is your result?
.
Son : Dimag ka dahi mat kar
BABULAL tu baap kehlane ka haq
kho chuka hai.
🐈Cat:Hw old r u?
Elphnt:5yr
🐈Cat: Bt U look big.
Elphnt:m a COMPLAN BOY
🐈Cat: Im 30yr.
Elphnt:Bt U luk so small

🐈Cat: PONDS ageMIRACLE, BADHTI UMR MANO THAM SI JAYE.
==================================
Pehle main bahut dukhi rehta tha. Hamesha rota rehta tha. Mujhse kaam nahin ho pata tha. Gharwalon ke taane sun ke ro diya karta tha. Phir maine is naye product ke baare mein suna, jiska naam tha !!!...WIFE...!!!

Ye 'Wife' vakai lajwaab hai.

Ab mein apni puri neend 2-3 ghante mein hi puri kar leta hun.

Duniya bhar ke taane aur gaaliyaan hass hass ke sun leta hun.

Kitni bhi musibat aaye khush rehta hun.

Dukh-Sukh ki tensions se upar uth gaya hun.

Swarg-Narak, sab yahin hain, ab ye bhi samaj aa gaya hai.

Ab toh dushmanon se pyaar ho gaya hai.

Sach mein, ye 'WIFE ' vakai asardaar hai. Always keep your wife's picture as mobile screensaver. Whenever you face a problem, see the picture & say. If I can
😛-Laughter time-!

🔦-Doctor : Roz 5km walk karo, to 1 sal me 50kg wajan kum ho jayega..
1 saal baad santa phone pe:
Wajan to kam ho gaya,
magar saale ghar kaise jau 1825km door aa gaya hu
------------------------------

Santa aur Banta 8th mein aathvi Baar Fail Ho gaye

Santa: Chal Suicide kar le

Banta: Saale, Pagal Ho Gaya Hai ??
Agle janam Fir NURSERY se shuru karna padega😛
----------------------------

😛😛Santa: shirt ke liye ek acha kapda dikhaiye.
Sales man: plain main dikhau.
Santa: Nahin helicopter main dikha
saale bandar ki aulad Yahin pey dikha!!👚
--------------------------

Doctor: Do exercise daily for
good health.
Santa: Sir i play football, cricket,   daily.
Doctor: how long do you play?
Santa: until d battery in my mobile goes down!!
--------------------------------
Techer- pani me rahne vale 5 jiv batao.?
Student- mendak.
Tech- very good, baki char bolo. .
Student- uski maa ,
uska baap ,
uski behan aur
uska bhai ..
😛😀😀😛😀
-------------------------------------------------
Sa nta's Son was filling an application form.
Son: papa, mother tongue kya likhu?
Santa: Likh de, very long and uncontrollable..
Racism!

Everyone seems to be in such a hurry to scream 'racism' these days.

In London: A customer asked, "Do you have "Sarson Da Tel???"

The shopkeeper says "Are you a Sardar???"

The guy, clearly offended, says,

"Yes I am. But let me ask you something.

If I had asked for Olive Oil, would you ask me if I was Italian?

Or if I had asked for Bratwurst, would you ask me if I was German?

Or if I asked for a kosher hot dog would you ask me if I was Jewish?

Or if I had asked for a Taco, would you ask if I was Mexican?

Or if I asked for some Irish whiskey, would you ask if I was Irish?

The shopkeeper says, "No, I probably wouldn't."

The guy says, "Well then, because I asked for Sarson Da Tel, why did you ask if I am a Sardar???"

The shopkeeper replied,

Because, you're in a "wine shop!!!"
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