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A man was travelling in the train and shivering due to cold
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An attractive ladyfrom the opposite berth: Why dont u share my blanket?
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Man: Nahi behen. Its fine (And he looked away)
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Moral:
Moral voral kuch nahi ... Upar ke berth pe biwi so rahi thi!! 
____________________________________

Cat:Hw old r u?
Elphnt:5yr
🐈Cat: Bt U look big.
Elphnt:m a COMPLAN BOY
🐈Cat: Im 30yr.
Elphnt:Bt U luk so small
🐈Cat: PONDS ageMIRACLE, BADHTI UMR MANO THAM SI JAYE.
😛😛


Secretary got an expensive pen as a gift from her boss.
She sent him a Thank you note on email.
Bosses wife read the mail and filed a divorce in court.
The mail says:
"Your penis wonderful. I enjoyed using it last night.
It has extra ordinary smooth flow, and a firm stroke.
Initially its tip was to be licked to bring to working order &
it is equally good on both sides.
I loved its perfect size and grip. Felt like I was in heaven when using it.
I've always desired it and you fulfilled my wish.
At last it is mine and mine for ever.
Thanks a lot"

Moral: space is an essential part in English and married life too...
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MALE LOGIC

Woman:
Do you drink beer?

Man: Yes

Woman:
How many beers a day?

Man:
Usually about 3

Woman:
How much do you pay per beer?

Man: Rs. 300 which includes a tip

Woman:
And how long have you been drinking?

Man:
About 20 years, I suppose

Woman:
So a beer costs Rs. 300 and you have 3 beers a day which puts your spending each month at Rs. 27,000. In one year, it would be approximately Rs. 3,24,000 correct?

Man:
Correct

Woman:
If in 1 year you spend Rs. 3,24,00 , not accounting for inflation, the past
20 years puts your spending at Rs. 64,80,000 correct?

Man:
Correct

Woman:
Do you know that if you didnt drink so much beer, that money could have been put in a step-up interest savings account and after accounting for compound interest for the past 20 years, you could have now bought a Ferrari?

Man:
Do you drink beer?
..
Woman:
No

Man:
Wheres your Ferrari?
Deadliest 🉑 ever:
1 ladki coke🍷 pi rahi thi,
Achanak usme se 1 MACHHAR nikla
Macchar: MAA

Ladki: Mein teri maa nahi hu

Machhar: Aisa na bol maa,
Main teri COKE se nikla hoon

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School mein English ke paper ka question,

"Children make mistakes in night."
(change the voice)
One boy wrote ans:
"Mistakes in night make childrens...!😆

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Difficult to understand Women...
A few days back when my neighbor visited me I was having my food.
She got angry that i didn't ask her to join me.
Today when she visited I was taking a shower.
I asked her to join me & she got angry again..
'Hello, Agarwal movers and packers??'

'Yes!! App kaun bol rahe hain?'

'Main Ashok Gehlot!!'
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Bihar school teacher's killer english.1- Pick up that paper and fall in the dust bin.
2- Both of you three, stand together separately.
3- Will you hang that
calendar or "I'll Hang Myself".
4- Tomorrow call your parents especially mother and father.
5- Why are you looking at the monkey outside when I am in the class?
6- I have two daughters, both are girls.
7- Stand in the middle of the corner.
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Ek Ladka Ek Ladki Ko Cafe Mein
Akele Baitha Dekh Kar Ladki Ki
Table
Par Gaya Aur Kaha:" Kya Main Aap
Ke Saath Baith Sakta Hu.???
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Ladki Chillai:" Nahi, Main Aaj Raat
Tumhare Saath Nahi Guzaar Sakti....
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Sab Log Dekhne Lage.............
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Ladka Sharminda Ho Gaya..
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Kuch Der Baad Ladki Uske Paas
Gayi Aur Maafi Mangi Aur
Kaha:" Main HUMAN NATURE Ke
Upar Study Kar Rahi Hu Aur Padh
Rahi Hu Ki Log
Sharminda Ho Kar Kya Mehsoos
Karte Hain.."
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Ladka Chillaya:" What..??? 10
Hazaar Ek Raat Ke..??
Bahut Zyada Hain, Kuch Kam Karo
Yaar..
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Sab Log Ladki Ko Dekh Kar Hasne
Lage..
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Aur Phir Ladka Aahista Se Bola:" Ab
Mehsoos Kar. Khul Ke..
.
Jaldi forward karo..Ye market me naya hai..😛
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When I Was a KID ~

PUSSY Meant a CAT

SEX Meant GENDER

BITCH Was a FEMALE DOG

DICK Was a NAME of a cartoon film,

BANG Was a SOUND

RUBBER Was Nothin But an ERASER

ASS Was An ANIMAL

COCK was murga

SCREW was Just a Fixing TOOL

HEAD Meant a Part of BODY

BALLS Meant a Round TOY

& then....

I met you all, my friends,....


Aur meri poore Education ki maa behen ho gayi...!!! 
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APPLE Se
"Vitamins" milta hain.
"Vitamin" se "Power",
"Power" se "Work" hota h.
"Work" se "PAISA", 💵 💷
"PAISE" se "Marriage" hoti he.
Aur "Marriage" se
"WIFE" 👰 milti he.
"Wife" se "Tension" hi milti he.
Aur "Tension" se "Depression".
"Depression" se "DEATH."
Le Beta,
Aur Khaa Apple.
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Biwi ki awesome Kathaayein 

🔄
MBA ki wife : Eji , Yeh inflation kya hai ?
.
.
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MBA : Phele tu 36-24-36 thi , ab tu 42-40-48 hai! Ab tere pass sab kuch pehle se jyada hai par phir bhi teri value kam hai.
Yahi INFLATION hai !!! 

🔄
Normally A Man speaks 25000 words Daily & Woman speaks 30000.

But d Problem starts When Husband comes Home after finishing his 25000 words Wife starts her 30000 😇


🔄
Law of equality 💠

The time taken by a wife when she says I'll get ready in 5 min is exactly equal to the time taken by husband when he says 'I'll call u in 5 min!📞


🔄
Wife = Where R u.?
Husband ?= I'm At "Bank".
Wife  = Wow thats good ? I need 20,000 ?? For new  Cell Phone  ,5,000 ?? for new dress ?, 6000?? for new shoes?, 4000??  for new purse?, 8000?? for my new cosmetics
Husband ? = Sorry ,
I mean
I am at Blood bank

"KHOON PIYEGI

KHOON ?"??

🔄
Listening to wife is like reading the terms & conditions of website.
You understand Nothing, still you click
"I Agree"......!!

🔄
Wife: Suno ji, Doctor ne muje ek mahina aaram ke liye switzerland ya paris jaane ko kaha hai.
Hum kaha jayenge?
.😕
.😴
.
.😦
.😧
.😟
.😶
.😐
.😇
Husband: Dusre Doctor ke paas..😆😆

🔄
Papa : why is your mummy sitting silently today.
Son : nothing papa. She asked for lipstick and i heard fevistick.
Papa: (with tears in eyes) god bless you son.





🔄
Hubby Ke B'day Par Wife Ne Pucha-
Kya Gift Dun??

Hubby:-
Tum mujhe Pyar Karo, Izzat Karo aur Mera Kehna Maano...Yahi kaafi hai...!!

Wife:-
(Kuch Der Soch Ke)
Nahin Main To Gift Hi Dungi.

🔄
I argued... She argued...
I shouted... She shouted and then she cried

Result: she won by duckworth lewis method




🔄
Chess is the only game in the world,
which reflects the status of the husband.
the poor king can take only one step at a time ...
While the mighty queen can do whatever she likes.
-------------🙋

🔄
Why do most indian women request 4 the same husband,
in the next life.?..
Arre..itni mehnat se trained kiya hai..

waste thodi jane denge! 👝👛👓🎽
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